Kirby Phenomenon

The doorbell rang today, and standing there was my nemesis.

A salesman.

I have repeatedly told my kids, DO....NOT....OPEN....THE DOOR. Not because there could be a kidnapper or a boogey man behind it, but because there could be, you guessed it, a salesman.

But, they DO NOT listen. And every time my dear children let one in, I cringe. Because I know I'm about to spend a lot of money I do not have. Like last summer, when I bought a freezer full of meat for $400. WHAT? FROZEN MEAT? Who knew they even sold that door-to-door?

I AM every salesman's DREAM.

So, my salesman today starts off with an amazing attention-grabbing technique. He GIVES me a free household product. Paper towels. WOW!!! I'm thinking, JACKPOT! You probably think the story ends there, but you'd probably be wrong.

After he presents me with the generic wipes, he says, "One minute let me run to my van." As he runs to the van, I return to my motherly duties. Upon my return to the front door, there it is, the KIRBY Vacuum Box.

"Umm", I said with a sigh of relief, "We have a central vac, so I think we're good."

"Have you ever had a demonstration?" Says the guy with a large tatoo of his 2 year-old on his arm. (Classy).

"YES! And, my parents have one, which they love, and I love Kirby's too. But, we can't afford it. We need to put in our yard, first." I thought for sure this would be the end of it...

"Well, my boss just wants me to give you a quick demonstration, " says Maurice while his eyes shift to his boss in the molester van.

"Okay, but I'm not buying," I said firmly.

Deep down, I love the Kirby demos, just because I know I'll have one room with pristine carpet by the time they're done. Well worth the LENGTHY demo, I think.

As the vacuuming begins, I'm slowly getting sucked in. (No pun intended). And, by the end of it, I am ready to chuck the central vac attachemnts and get out my credit card.

My vacuum is like a glorified Dustbuster compared to the Kirby. You should see how many dust/dirt/lint filled circles I have in my trash can right now! It's amazing I don't have allergies, or even worse, diseases. It's a miracle I'm still alive!

I LOVE KIRBY. I NEED A KIRBY.

Well, to make a long story longer, I ended up trying to talk Tyler, Chris and Erin into my Kirby dream. I figured, we can't justify buying a $2,000 vacuum for our home, but we have rental properties and so do Chris and Erin, so why not use the Kirby to clean the carpets when the renters move in-and-out? BRILLIANT! (Plus, I might even use it my house as an added bonus!)

Everyone saw my wisdom in this except Chris.

So, it is with mixed emotions that I report to you, I do not own a Kirby, yet.

Chris, if you're reading this, I'm not very happy with you right now, and neither are our carpets.

I hope you breathe in lots of dust tonight and develop severe allergies.

4/09
I was trying to explain to Trace and Sydney that they were going to have a little Easter party at school and then on Saturday, we would have the big Easter egg hunt. My explanation was a little ambiguous, and here's how the talk went down:
Me: We're making these Easter eggs for school. The other eggs are for the big hunt we're going to have outside in the grass.
Sydney: Hmmmm, that's very interesting. We don't even have grass.

4/09
Sydney is playing with this toy where you make animals...you choose different heads, arms, legs, etc. So she comes downstairs and says,
Mom, these legs won't stay on. That's rude.

Spring Break!

Easter

"Jesus died and came alive again."

This is exactly what Trace and Sydney will say if you drill them for the real meaning of Easter. It is such a simple statement, yet so profound. I am so grateful for the true meaning of Easter, the atonement of Jesus Christ, and what it means to me personally.

"Of all the events of human history, none is so significant as the resurrection of the Son of God."
Gordon B. Hinckley

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Now, for the true meaning of festivities. This year's fun mainly took place on Saturday. The hunt, which consisted of tons of candy, toys, and treat-filled plastic eggs scattered all over a vacant lot across from Gina's house, was a success despite the rain and abundance of deer droppings. We made sure no one mistook them for chocolate covered raisins. Tragedy avoided! The kids had a great time "searching" for Easter eggs and I was pretty proud of the loot they earned, even if the candy was a little moist.

As far as a visit from the actual Easter Bunny on Sunday morning, it didn't happen. Let me take you back a moment to Tyler's childhood when his dad (aka Big Steve) shot the Easter Bunny. I'm not sure how many bullets were used, all I know is he's dead. And, somehow this tragic news got out to Trace. Two nights ago when I was putting Trace to bed he said,

Mom, why did Grandpa "take down" the Easter Bunny?

To this, I had no reply. I just told him to talk to Grandpa about it.

Therefore, Easter eve and morning at our house was pretty uneventful as there was no anticipation of cottontail's arrival. I must say, at first I was not on board with taking the E.B. out of our children's lives, but when 11 pm rolled around last night, and I was very tired, I ended up feeling great about it. Instead of the almighty E.B. dropping off presents and MORE candy, the kiddos received new pj's and crayons from....get this....Mom and Dad! And, you know what, WHY NOT take credit for the nice things we do?!?

Don't worry, I'm going to keep the shotgun out of Big Steve's reach when Santa's coming.